Background

I'm a 50-year-old mother of a grown son and have dealt with weight issues for most of my adult life. I have been divorced since 1991 and currently live alone with my two little dogs. I live in the same small Midwestern town as my parents, siblings and extended family. I worked for the same employer for 25 years, losing my job to downsizing. I was unemployed for nearly a year before finding my current position with an insurance company.

My Struggle with My Own Weight

My weight issues began when I was in high school. I dieted and exercised to maintain what I believed to be a healthy weight. At age 17, a well-meaning physician prescribed amphetamines to assist with my weight loss.

Shortly after turning 19, I married and a year later, gave birth to my son. I gained a significant amount of weight during my pregnancy and I carried that extra weight for several years. I divorced at age 22 and moved to a large city where I attended college and raised my son.

My diet history is not unlike that of many others. I tried every diet, no matter how outlandish, tried all the organized supervised diet groups and even tried the less than appetizing liquid protein diet of the 1970s. I have files on the grapefruit diet, the rice diet, the soup diet, an expensive computer diet, the Mayo Clinic diet and virtually every diet touted in women’s magazines. I lost 10 pounds and gained 15, lost 25 and gained 30 and dieted myself up to 290 pounds.

In the early 80s I went into the hospital for a gastroplasty, the medical term for stomach stapling. One of the problems with performing surgery on someone of my size is that the stitches can pull out of place. My surgeon likened it to trying to sew two pieces of Jell-O together. The surgery formed a pouch in the upper portion of my stomach and thus, I felt full after eating merely a half cup of food. I successfully lost 130 pounds and maintained my weight for many years.

My second husband was a large man who met me when I was a slender woman. During our relationship he constantly teased and cajoled me to eat more. He was afraid that we looked like Laurel and Hardy and the fact that I was happy eating soup while he ate full meals embarrassed him. Our marriage had many problems, only one of which was a constant battle over food. Although I accept personal responsibility for my weight gain, during that stressful time I once again began to diet my way back up the scale.

Several years ago I decided to undergo another surgery. I had always been very busty and developed terrible headaches, backaches, and sore shoulders as well and my clothes never seemed to fit right. I located a plastic surgeon with whom I was comfortable. After much in-depth discussion on the matter, I underwent the removal of six pounds of breast tissue and a restructuring of my bosom. Having this procedure was not only deemed medically necessary, but it also helped me feel more comfortable in my everyday life. I have never regretted the decision to have a breast reduction.

I recently went through all the testing and paperwork to qualify for the newest version of gastric bypass. When this surgery is done as a revision of a previous gastric surgery, the doctors use excess tissue produced by the stretching of the pouch created during the original surgery. In my case I had displaced staples at the bottom of the staple line and my upper pouch did not stretch enough to provide the needed tissue for the new surgery. Consequently, it’s been decided that I am not a candidate for this surgery.

Acceptance

Throughout my adult life, I have dealt with self-esteem issues, body concept issues, clothing issues and even friendship issues. I have had to come to terms with who I am inside and realize that I will always be that person, regardless of my outward appearance. The people who love me and value me will continue to do so whether I am a size 10 or a size 28. The people who choose not to get to know me solely on the basis of my size, are the ones who lose out. I have much to offer the world and only the special people in my life will have the benefit of my love and friendship.

Hobbies and Interests

I fill my spare time with a wide range of hobbies and interests. I knit, cross stitch and quilt. I work with miniatures, constructing room boxes and scale model dolls houses. Genealogy is a hobby I work on in spurts and to date, I have traced one branch of my family back to 1500! I enjoy traveling, collecting antiques and reading about history, all of which interrelate with researching my family history. I have always been a voracious reader and I enjoy books from many genres: mysteries, science fiction, romance, Civil War history, detective stories, biographies, history and anything suggested to me by others. I write articles for my website and have begun to write and submit articles for sale to magazines. My passion for crossword puzzles is one which I inherited from my maternal grandmother and which I now share with my best friend. Gardening is one of my favorite warm weather pursuits, although it is a year-round interest which includes studying seed/plant catalogues during the icy winter weather.  I love camping, travel and have a passion for Renaissance festivals, carnivals and fairs.