s "fat" a derogatory term? To me it's not. I like being fat and I love fat men. Contrary to popular belief, there are many men and women who feel the same way I do.
I love to look at photos of large-bellied men. About five months ago, as I was surfing the web I happened upon some pictures of BBW. I had never before thought of myself as fat - just a little plump. I felt that maybe, if I could lose 20-30 pounds, I could pretend to fit in with the "thin" group. But the bellies on some of those BBW were smaller than mine! So I took off my clothes, looked into my mirror, took a deep breath, and let my belly relax. WOW! I liked what I saw and I liked how it felt - soft, sensual. It's amazing how my self-acceptance soared once I decided I was fat and that that was okay. That was just before the New Year and I am amazed at how positive my outlook has become. I analyzed my feelings and have come to the following conclusions.
It is not a sin or wrong to be fat. Being fat has to do with many things including genetics, body type, and ethnic background. If everyone in the world were thin, there would be less diversity. I believe it is wrong to agonize over every bite of food you put in your mouth and to be obsessed with what it will do to your body. Doing so robs you of peace, energy, and freedom. That's how I was. Even though I weighed 187 pounds at the time of my revelation, my thoughts were consumed with what I ate and how it would affect my appearance. When I wasn't concentrating on a technical problem at work, I would be worrying about what I should eat. These thoughts ruined my free time by allowing me to stress over the weight I would gain from the one meal a day that I did eat. You can stop smoking or drinking and still go on living. Same with alcohol. But you cannot stop eating and continue to live. Self-acceptance freed me from all of those destructive thoughts concerning food. I now have more time and energy to devote to my career, my education, and my love-life.
I've put on 17 pounds in four months and have since received more male attention than in all the years I tried to be thin. To me, there is nothing more sexy than a big, round, belly on a 300 pound man. Why? I only know I've felt this way for the last ten years. Why do some men prefer petite blonds? A man of 200 pounds may be a wonderful friend or co-worker, but unless he weighs at least 250 pounds and has intentions of gaining, I will not be interested in him sexually. I could glide my hands all over a big belly, follow that up with kisses, and entertain myself for hours. I would make him feel very good about himself. When I told one admirer that I weighed 204 pounds, his response was, "That's nothing." Another thought I was small. It's all relative, but I've heard numerous times that I am "very attractive."
Don't get the wrong impression and think that I sit around all day trying to gain weight. I'm into being fat AND being fit. One thing I have really enjoyed since I've put on 17 pounds is the fact that I'm stronger. My job is in computer technology. I am required to lift 40-pound monitors. Prior to my weight gain, I had difficulty doing this. However, since my weight gain, I can lift a monitor and place it on a shelf above my head without much trouble. I also donate blood regularly. Before my weight gain I was frequently turned away because my iron level was too low. However, since I started eating three meals per day, including eating red meat, I have not once been turned away. Further, when you give blood, your blood pressure is checked. That's how I know mine is consistently below the norm for my age.
I have always been active and like to keep my body moving. I love the outdoors and can't get enough of hiking in the woods. I like taking daily walks, and I attend exercise or yoga classes twice per week This month's self-improvement class is rock climbing. Last winter I learned to snowshoe and I hope to take kayaking and bicycling classes this summer. I love to dance. I love to dance in a man's arms. love to dance on a stage. I love to dance around the house when I'm alone. Even with all this activity, I still can't keep the extra weight off.
I'm a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. It was the best diet program I found. Some diets are outright dangerous, but any diet is a lifetime sentence. As anyone knows who has ever tried to diet knows, you either stick with the plan for the rest of your life or you gain the weight back. I lost 40 pounds with WW and brought my weight down to 148 pounds. Even then, at size 14, I was still not considered "thin" by popular standards. Three years after getting tired of counting points, all the weight came back. I was under the illusion that once I lost the weight, my active lifestyle would keep it off and I could eat whatever I wanted. If you must diet, please read Deepak Chopra's book, Perfect Weight. In fact, I recommend it whether you are trying to lose weight, gain weight, or maintain your present weight. It will help you get in touch with your body's rhythms, which I feel is essential to good health.
Although I am presently eating what I want when I want, I do choose to eat healthy foods. I avoid fast food, make frequent stops at health food cafes, and always shop in the health food section of the grocery store. I love fresh fruits and vegetables from the local Farmer's Market - especially the northern berries. In Perfect Weight, Chopra describes the various body types and the appropriate foods for each. Considering my many food allergies, I find the foods I can eat are actually the ones that are good for my body type. In addition to the three meals a day I eat, I stop for a mocha frappacino and dessert whenever I want. You could say I'm relaxed about how much I eat. I call it freedom.
Although popular culture tells us women should be a certain size, I believe that as North Americans we should be free to BE - not be forced into being what some chart says we should be. Whether you are bone thin or have ample rolls of flesh, you (men and women) are lovely. Accept yourself, for there are many who enjoy and appreciate your shape. No matter what your shape, it is possible to be healthy. I encourage everyone to choose healthy habits, foods that make your body feel better, and an activity in which to participate on a regular basis. Be at peace with yourself, whatever your size, and. Remember, "fat" is not a derogatory word. Many of us find it quite pleasant.
